Journey to Recovery

February 17, 2014 began the long, presumably four month journey of my recovery. I was still on the couch at this point, but I had gotten over my depressed and overwhelmed feeling.

Monday morning I felt highly motivated to start the regimen that I had been given. We didn’t have everything that I needed; mom still had to order quite a bit of it, but what we did have, I began to hit it hard. I had a new amount of energy to get better. Now that I knew what I was fighting I had a more focused and determined attitude.

I was up more on Monday and by that afternoon I was feeling faint. As usual, I had done too much too soon.

    If you know me, you know that I love giving my all. I like to see how much I can handle, and far too often, I push it beyond my limit and pay for it. I do it every time. I love it though.

I continued to get up more the next two days, but I finally conceded that even though I was taking supplements that would restore my health did not mean that I would magically be better in two days. That was a little disappointing for me to grasp in the beginning. You would think that I was used to living on the couch. In truth, I was! But after spending thirteen weeks on the couch I wanted up!

Patience. Patience is a valuable lesson that the Lord is teaching me over and over again in each and every area of my life. And patience I would need in order to endure this.
Fourteen weeks on the couch rolled by and I was getting ready to enter the fifteenth week. Almost four months on the couch.

The change came slowly, in subtle ways. For the first time in a couple of months I was able to sleep lying down. Due to the fact that I hadn’t been getting enough oxygen to my blood cells I had trouble getting enough air. When I tried to lay down I would feel a compressed feeling on my chest. As if I was being suffocated. It was scary and every time I accidentally threw myself into a panic attack. So I slept sitting up for almost four months straight. But then suddenly, that compressed feeing was gone, and I slept a whole lot better.

  Mom and dad went on a marriage retreat Wednesday through Friday, and circumstance would have it that I needed to watch the children and take charge of the house for a few hours. Of course, presumably from the couch. I could order the little minions around, ahem, my siblings and all would be well. But when I had to step up, something snapped. It was as if I had been given a recharged battery and inserted it in my adrenaline glands. I had a new found energy. Totally unexpected. I walked upstairs twice that evening for the first time in four months. The past couple of times I had been on the back of one of my older sisters. I didn’t feel winded. Not at all. I didn’t tell anyone because I was expecting a serious crash. I thought, ‘I am more than likely going to pay for this, but whatever.’

That night my heart rate soared to 142. The highest it had been ever. With wintergreen essential oil on my temples, calm music in my ears, and held tightly in the arms of my older sister Stephanie I calmed down within a minute.
I didn’t make the connection then, but now I realized I had paid for it, but compared to all the other times I had paid the piper for my actions this didn’t seem as bad.
But I didn’t pass out. Friday rolled around and I was still up and at it. I hadn’t sat on the couch at all, and I had gone upstairs again. Friday evening I packed up all of my stuff that was in the living room, which over four months had accumulated to quite a bit, and took everything to my room. I slept in my own bed the first time in four months.

My journey to recovery is not over. I confess, there are many times where I haven’t taken all of my medicine or stayed on the diet that I was put on. I’ve paid for that. Even now, as I write this, I’m paying for the bad decisions I have made. But through it all, I’ve learned valuable lessons. I am still reaping the benefits of this illness. I would not trade them for anything. I would not have it reversed. I’m thankful I went through that because I have grown closer to the Lord.

One lesson I’ve learned is through the taking of my medicine. It has to be consistent if it is going to work. Just like spending time with the Lord is necessary in order for us to grow closer to Him. We can’t expect to give Him a few minutes here and there and think that we will be fine to just get by with that. He wants a consistent relationship, not just an every now and then.

Are you facing a difficult time in your life right now? How is the Lord growing you through these trials?

The Power of God's Grace

I am currently sitting in a hospital room with my mother, Cheryl (Treasures From a Shoebox)

The whole family was at one of mom's relative's house on Saturday, helping them take down a couple of trees and clean up the brush. Dad had gone to pick up a few items from the store, and mom and a couple of us girls had walked up the street to visit another family member. While there, mom pulled me to the side and told me that she was only seeing pieces of things. She called it pixelating.

Four years ago, my mom had a TIA (mini stroke) and she did the exact same thing. I knew, and so did the other older girls what her symptoms had been.

I kept calm, and looped my arm with hers while we were there.
On the way back to the first house mom told me that she was beginning to see wavy lines. I kept my arm in hers until we got her inside the house and into a chair.

It was downhill from there.

Most of the kids were still outside helping with brush cleanup and playing while we waited for dad to return. She started to feel tired and cold. I had two essential oils with me, wintergreen and lavender. I did the only thing I knew to do, rub them on her temples. She complained of a headache.
At this point, my older sister Emily and I weren't sure what exactly was going on.
I called a family friend and asked her for advice. We were on the phone for about forty-five minutes discussing whether or not it could be a lack of protein or if it was really a stroke.
While on the phone, I kept going into the room where mom was at in a chair, and checked on her, letting the lady on the phone know what was going on.

About this time, dad was home and not really apprised of the situation because he had been outside the entire time. We decided it was best if he came in and assessed the situation and determine what he thought was the wisest course of action.

He came in and after looking at her and talking with her he said that we were taking her to the hospital.
My mom is very stubborn. And people who are having a stroke tend to be even more stubborn. She fought us tooth and nail all the way to the hospital.

We had all of the kids with us, so, in our work clothes and all, we took mom to the ER.
She was still slurring her speech, had a headache, was extremely confused, and the right side of her face was numb.
They admitted her and took a couple of tests.

I am normally the one who is in the bed getting all of the blood work done and stuff; not the one in the chair explaining to the doctor and the nurses what was going on. I was sent back because I had been there from the very beginning.

After all of the tests for a stroke came back negative, they were going to release her. They had started the releasing process when a neurologist stepped in and said that based on her past record they needed to keep her and run some more tests on her to determine what the cause was.

Mom had been given pain medicine, but it did not take the headache away and the right side of her face was still numb and felt weird.

Dad, Emily, and I went home for the night and came back this morning.
She will be having an MRI and a test on her carotid artery tomorrow.

Normally, in situations like this, I'm panicking, worried sick to my stomach, can't eat, and full of anxiety. I can handle health problems happening to me, but when it comes to other people that I love, no, I can't do it.
But I don't have any of that this time. I'm calm. I have never been this calm through a crisis in my life.

There is one explanation for this; the grace of God. I know that the Lord is with us. There is not a doubt in my mind that He is with us even now. There are so many people lifting us up in prayer that I can almost feel Him holding us in His hands. It's totally surreal. Totally and completely. The peace and grace the Lord is pouring out on this whole situation is overwhelming.
The Lord is trustworthy. He truly is. I have not a doubt in my mind that the Lord is in control of this entire situation.

The power of God's grace is more than enough to calm a normally quaking heart;
He can do the same for you. Just trust in Him.

Blessings,
Haley

My Covenant Ceremony

This past Friday evening, a special event took place around my house. My covenant ceremony. 

As you can see from the pictures, this isn't some simple affair. It's serious.

Unlike Stephanie and Emily's covenant ceremonies, I wanted more than just my family and pastor to be there. My friends help shape me into being the person that I am. They are my peers, and help to keep me in line.
So, with more than just my family there, as you can see, it made it all the more special. Even more so because a family of 13 was there. We've been pen pals with this family for almost a year and just met them in person last week. 

There is one table not shown here, but that's just about all of them. :)

Dinner was fabulous.

And so were the desserts! Which were homemade Profiterole Puffs, they're just like cream puffs, and Caramel Custard

After we finished this luscious meal, we all gathered in a semi-circle around the beautifully decorated arbor.

Dad gave a little speech thanking everyone for coming, and explaining what the purpose of this covenant ceremony was: my decision to place myself under my father's protection and to wait for God's leading in the direction of a future life partner. 

Mom explained the reason why my covenant was different than the other two girls'.

Pastor then spoke about me. His message was touching, and tear-jerking, for me at least. :)

After that, we invited anyone who wanted to speak. Stephanie and Emily gave me a heart warming and challenge-filled speech. My pseudo brother Josh spoke as well. That was tear-jerking too.

I sang the song, 'Thank You Mama and Papa accompanied by Stephanie on the guitar.

The covenant signing followed suit. 

Daddy read his vows to me:

• I will protect you from unqualified men.
• I will teach you God's principles of life.
• I will pray for you and for God's choice of your life partner.

I in turn, read my vows to daddy:

• I will keep myself pure for my husband
• I will obtain your blessing on my courtship
• I will wait for your full release before entering into marriage. 

We both signed it, and pastor witnessed and dated the document.

Daddy then presented me with a special ring as a symbol of our vows. 

By then we were both crying...

Daddy finished the whole ceremony up with a blessing/prayer for me.

A slew of pictures were taken after that. 

Each of these dear girls have made similar covenants with their dads. They are the ones who are to keep me accountable to the covenant I have made. 

Here's a close-up of the signed covenant;

And the ring! I love this simple little 14k white gold ring. It doesn't look fancy or anything, but I'm not one to have baubles or big things on my rings. With it being so small, it's easier to play piano with. 

The engraved design is the key to my heart under my father's umbrella of protection. 

A Fond Farewell....For Now

By reading the title, you might have guessed what I'm getting ready to do. Or rather, where I'm getting ready to go.

This past weekend my family and I had the privilege of representing Doorposts at the IAHE convention.

(from left to right)
Corrie, Emily, me, Isaac, Mackenzie, Dad, and Mom

During a rare moment, I was able to escape running the booth and went and watched the movie, Captivated.

About ten minutes into the movie, I decided that I was going on a media fast for a month. I was already thinking of how I would write my farewell blog post. 

I have let the computer control my life for too long. I need to put a stop to it. It's almost as if the computer has become an idol in my heart. This is very, very wrong, and I know that. I have replaced God with another god. As a result some things have not been so food. I realize that now.

In case you're wondering what all I'm taking a fast from for a month, here is the complete list:

• No computer time, except to work on my novel, and do my schoolwork
• No movies
• No Internet whatsoever, except to do my schoolwork online.
• Limited music

I will be around till Thursday. I start my fast Friday. 

I am not regretting leaving, well....sorta, but I need this. I am already looking forward to seeing what God is going to teach me while I endure this fast.

Press on toward the mark, and fight the good fight!!

The Long Family Singers

In early 2000, three little girls, of the ages,11, 8, and 4, were all in the kitchen doing the dishes. Normally this wouldn't be any problem except, the dishwasher was broken! There was no laughter, water splashes, or any fun happening during this little chore. Instead, bickering, scowling faces, and hateful remarks were flying back and forth between the girls. Mom was in the other room desperately trying to figure out what to do with these girls. Finally, after some thought, and after she had had enough of their arguing, she marched into the kitchen with a hymnal in her hand and a determined look on here face.

"Girls," She said "I am sick and tired of hearing your bickering and arguing. It is not glorifying to the Lord in any way shape or form. I want you girls to sing hymns while you do the dishes. You are not allowed to talk to each other just sing. " She placed the hymnal on the windowsill and left the kitchen.
The girls grudgingly started singing as their mother walked through the house with a satisfied smile on her face.

Those three little girls were my sisters and I; Stephanie, Emily, and me!

From left to right:
Emily, Amanda, Mackenzie (in the highchair) Stephanie, and me! 

     
After that life altering experience in the kitchen we kept on singing as we did the dishes. It was fun! We replaced splashing each other with rinse water, racing to see if we could keep the person who was drying the dishes (usually Emily) 'stocked up', with mountain loads of dishes, with singing hymns.

The more we sang, the better we got. Stephanie learned how to sing alto, and we began to harmonize with each other.

Two years later, we felt that God was laying it on our hearts to use our voices to minister to other people. Although we had never had professional voice lessons. To this day we have never had professional lessons. That really doesn't matter though. Through the years, with lots of practice, and picking up voice tidbits and such, we have improved a lot!

From left to right:
Corrie, Isaac, Mackenzie, Emily, me, and Stephanie
Singing at a neighboring church.

           
In 2004, Stephanie was given a guitar for her birthday. With excitement and enthusiasm she taught herself how to play the guitar. That's when we started singing for nursing homes, and churches.

In 2005, a good friend began teaching Emily the violin. Later that same year she started teaching me piano.

Emily competing in our 4-H talent show. 2010

   
As the years have passed by, we have expanded our ministry, recently began adding in the younger children, and this past Christmas made our first unofficial CD. God has greatly blessed our ministry.

Us three older girls singing at Stephanie's best friend's fundraiser back in October 2008.

Us three older girls singing in the mess hall at Camp Atterbury. 

All of us singing the background music at a restaurant last November.
From left to right:
Front row: Eric Samuel, Destiny
Middle Row: Corrie, Isaac, Stephanie
Back row: Michael, me, Emily, and Mackenzie.

 
Through all the years we have learned a most valuable lesson: When you think you are the least prepared in any area of your life, that's where God will work. :D