Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Random Update Followed With a Poem of Mine

I haven't really posted anything from what's going in my life. And most of you dear readers are probably wondering what happened to the real Haley! Well here are a few things:

I've been busy with preparing for the World Piano Competition for several months now. But here recently things have been getting a little more hectic due to the fact that the second audition is this Saturday. Exciting,  yet a little terrifying at the same time.

School has been another big thing for me. I'm planning on graduating in May/June and I'm going to take the SAT test in May. That has me busy with tying all of my 'loose ends' up. :)

Another huge thing that has effected my life a bit more than I would like, is health issues. A few little details on that subject....
Ever since December 4th I've been having problems with being able to eat and not feel sick. Most days I just eat enough to get by. I know that is not the smartest or wisest thing to do, but when you have hardly any appetite at all and you are just plain scared to just isn't my favorite thing right now.
Turns out after I had a HIDA scan it revealed that my gallbladder is barely working. That's a problem. I've done two gallbladder cleanses and each time I felt awful afterward. I've been laid up for about two months and due to the fact that I'm not eating I've lost some weight. That's OK. I did have weight to lose. Anyway, I'm not complaining and I'll get to that later.
I went to a gastrointestinal (GI) specialist earlier this afternoon. The doctor told me that my gallbladder is more than likely diseased and will need to be surgically removed. He joked with my mom and said we would plan the surgery unless she had another way of removing it. :P The appointment with the surgeon has not been set yet. Anyway, next Friday (February 8th) I have a gallbladder ultrasound in the morning and at 1:15 that afternoon, I will have a scope done. What will happen during the scope is I will be put to sleep and they will slip a small camera type thingy down my throat and into my body and take pictures of my gallbladder. What happens from there I don't know.
So if you wouldn't mind sending up a few prayers for me I would really appreciate it.

Now I don't want to sound like I'm complaining over my current situation/illness. Oh no. Not me. Yes, it does get tiring and old just having to sit a lot because I don't feel good most of the time, but the Lord is teaching me a ton through all of this. I'm learning patience. That's one of the first lessons the Lord brought to my mind when I asked Him what He was doing. A sure funny question to ask the Lord, but I was curious and desperate.
Don't ever underestimate the power of patience. Patience is a wonderous thing, but that's a whole other blog post. But yes, the Lord is teaching me patience, endurance, long-suffering, determination, and joy in suffering. Tracing rainbows through my rain. Yes, the Lord wants us to joy in our suffering. He gives us the strength we need every day to endure it if we only ask Him for it.
My word of encouragement to you is this:
If you are going through a hardship in your life at this time, look to the Lord for the strength you need. He will willingly give it. He wants you to rely on HIM. And Him only. Search the Scriptures. His promises to you are overflowing in that blessed book. Don't give up. Press on! This is for a season and the Lord will get you through it. He has a reason and a plan for everything. He allows things to happen and whether they are good or bad He will turn them for our good. (Romans 8:28)

Now, that I've rambled on long's a poem, more like a song that I wrote. I was feeling a bit down the other night. Here are a few more of my thoughts for you to read. I hope I haven't been too...long-winded. :)

Safe In Your Arms

When my fears threaten to seize
My heart in a cold clenching grasp
I know You are watching over me
When my mind fills up with doubt
And I can’t seem to take control
I know You are within and without

So please take me in Your arms
Hold me close and don’t let go
Reassure me I’m safe from all harm
Oh, Lord Jesus, You’re my Father
I’ve no reason to doubt You
Safe in Your arms, You love like no other

As I plead and cry to You
Satan tries to discourage me
And convince me I’m not getting through
But through the clouds of my storm
Your loving voice falls on my ear
And tells me, “Come, you’re tired and worn.”

So please take me in Your arms
Hold me close and don’t let go
Your love is greater than the world’s charms
Lord, I trust You completely
My life is safe in Your hands
I bask in the knowledge that You love me

Your love dispels all my fears
And brings me to tears of sheer joy
For I know I’m loved by One who cares
Lord, I can never recount
All the blessings You’ve given me
I can never repay this amount

Oh, Jesus, Friend and Savior
Great and Mighty is Your name
You are the ultimate love giver
You are always here for me
I’ve no cause to doubt at all
I’m safe in Your arms for eternity

Oh, Jesus, I’m safe in Your arms.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Sound of Abortion

A video that you must see. A horrifying realization when you watch this.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Friday, January 4, 2013

God Spared My Life!

I should be dead.

Or at the very least in the hospital right now along with my older sister Steph. But I have a miraculous story to tell. One that bears Spiritual Warfare at the very heart of it.

Yesterday, Steph and I went to Panera Bread for dinner with some friends. I had changed my mind at the very last moment to actually go. I had planned to stay home, but decided against it when I realized I needed to pick up some things from the store before Friday.

We weren't planning to stay at Panera Bread past seven-thirty. We had music to practice for our parent's 25th vow renewal ceremony/celebration on Saturday. But we stayed later and then at the last minute decided to take one of my best friends, Rachelle, home after we had hit T.J. Maxx (another last minute decision) the library, and Walmart.

These details may seem trivial, but it all played a part in the story. In order for Rachelle to ride in Steph's car we had to put three heavy-duty card tables, for the party, in the trunk. It was tricky fitting them in there, but we managed to get them in the trunk.

We spent more time in T.J. Maxx and Walmart than all of us had anticipated. I couldn't find the particular gift card at the 'old' Walmart in Columbus that I needed. Frustrated, I told Steph and Rachelle that I'd just get it at the newer Walmart out by the highway.

We dropped Rachelle off at her house and then headed to the newer Walmart. We met up with Mom there and almost took Samuel  home with us. Once again, it took me a while to find the gift card, but I finally found it and we left for home.

During the drive, I worked on Christmas gifts while Stephanie practiced her speech for Mom and Dad's party. We had found it interesting that every time she came to the part of sharing the gospel she always blanked out. This continued all the way to Columbus and back. She told me, "Haley, Satan does not want me to share this."

The road from Columbus to our house is a dangerous one in the winter. Especially on a particular stretch known as Beck's Grove. We had come through there before just fine. Yes, there were patches of ice, but we had made it safely the first time.

While we were on this road Steph was practicing her speech once again. She was at the part of sharing the gospel when all of a sudden we began fish-tailing. Now Stephanie is a safe driver. I feel safe whenever I am with her.

But whenever the car started twisting, it seemed to go berserk. Steph said, "Don't worry, Haley, I got this," remembering Dad's instruction.

No matter what she did it was worthless. The car was headed for the left side of the road where a deep, wooded ravine seemed to be our destined doom. All of a sudden the car was turned around and the next thing I see is a white embankment and a tree coming at us. Stephanie shut her eyes through the whole thing, but I kept them open the entire time.

I remember screaming and hearing Stephanie scream. We slammed into the embankment and I thought that would be the end of it. I remember thinking, "God, I'm going to die today." But next thing I am being flipped upside down. I hear a loud crunch and screaming. I remember hitting the door, but I didn't feel it. While flipping, both of us felt like someone was holding us in a tight, comfortable embrace. We had our seat-belts on, but it was a stronger grip. Even when we were rolling we felt as though we were swaddled with soft pillows or something. There were angels holding both of us, I am sure of it.

All of a sudden I was suspended in midair by my seat-belt. I suddenly realized that I was repeating, "Oh my God" over and over again. I couldn't figure out where my seat had gone. My door looked odd and I couldn't figure out how to get out. All I could think of, was my sister dead?

I unbuckled my seat-belt somehow and softly landed on the 'floor'. I later figured out that it was the cracked windshield that I was sitting on. The first thing that Stephanie thought when we stopped was, "Shut the car off." Then she thought of me. She thought she had killed me or impaired me and I was in a bloody mess. The first thing I said was, "Are we still alive?" She assured me we were very much alive. We were both turned around mentally. I grabbed her arms and she grabbed mine. I said, "Steph, we need to pray!"
She started praying and I interjected, "Thank you God for saving us!" She stopped me and said, "Right now is not the time to pray. We can pray later. We need to get out of the car." I collected all the necessary belongings and placed them in a Walmart bag. That is, after I found my shoes.

We crawled out and heard a man's voice asking if we are all right. Steph answered "I think so. I don't feel hurt, but I need to call my dad."

I looked at the flipped car and thought, "There is no way we just made it out of there alive. No way."
The man's phone didn't get signal in the spot where we were. He told us we needed to call the police.
A county water utility truck stopped and the couple both had cell phones. The man used his to call the police and the woman let Stephanie use hers to call dad.

The couple from the water utility backed up and sat farther down the road with their flashers on. Dad would be at the crash site in roughly thirty minutes. The man who had first stopped told us, "Why don't you come and sit in my car where it's warm?"

We numbly got in. It was a good thing we did because I was starting to slip into shock.

Aaron was the man who let us sit in his car and he told us some of his crashing experiences. He didn't even live in the area. The only reason he had been down here was to get his birth certificate for a job in another city where he lives. We told him that God had orchestrated the timing perfectly.

The first volunteer policeman got there and we got out. He asked skeptically if we were the ones who had been in the car wreck and if we were hurt. Steph told him, "I don't think so. I don't feel hurt. I'm just shook up."

The policeman shined a flashlight in her eyes and asked, "Are you sure?" She reassured him.

Dad showed up along with more policemen. We went through the whole process of registering the car and all that. Nobody could believe that we were the two who had been in the car wreck.

Those tables I mentioned that we had put in the trunk? I shudder to think what could have happened if they had been in the back seat!

Stephanie's huge glass water bottle had landed above her head and all that had happened to it was the lid came off and the water spilled out. I later reached into my coat pocket and pulled out a Starbucks Mocha glass jar. It was not scratched or cracked. I could hardly believe it.

Mom arrived and charged up to us crying. We put our arms around her and reassured her that we were okay.

We were all heartily astonished when after the wrecker had turned the car over, the car started. Then Dad drove the car all the way home! Stephanie fell apart at that point. She could not believe it. I put my arms around her. I felt like giggling. I didn't feel like crying at that moment. I wanted to laugh exultantly because my God had conquered the demons who wanted us dead. I told Stephanie that I was going to mention what had happened before she gave her speech on Saturday. There is no way I can't. We all agree that what had happened to us was a direct attack from Satan, but God had intervened and had an army of angels all around us.

Fuzzy picture taken from Mom's cell phone camera

We are both sore and I found out I had a minor concussion and a cut on my foot, but other than that and being traumatized I am extremely glad that I am alive. I honestly thought that my life was going to end last night. God spared my life. I cannot tell you how grateful and humbled I am to know that the Lord has a specific purpose for me. I have come to the realization through this whole situation that God has me in the palm of His hands. Life is precious. Value it. Don't squander away your days. Enjoy them. Live them to the fullest. Fill them with things that have an everlasting purpose.

Note: To read Mom's account, read the post The Car Wreck on her blog.