Content in Whatever State I'm In?!

“For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Philippians 4:11b

Content in whatsoever state I am in? Seriously? Paul, did you never stop to think that in a couple thousand years people would be living in circumstances that called for discontentment?

Sure he did. The circumstances those first century Christians lived under were terrible.

But isn’t that the point? God knows our situations. He knows our hearts and what’s ahead. He asks that we not complain, but be content; no matter how hard it is.

As I write this I’m once again couch ridden. (Second time this year)  I have Lyme disease, as I’ve mentioned before. My health issues have risen to such a climax I’m forced to put myself on ‘house arrest’. Ha. Ha.

I haven’t been to church in four months. Yes, you read that correctly: four months. I can’t tell you how much I miss my church family. I want to go fellowship with them, worship the Lord in one accord, but I’m physically not capable.

I had to stop teaching piano; that was a no-brainer. I can’t get upstairs to my room, don’t have the strength. My energy fluctuates, right now it is on the down. I can’t sing either. The last time I sang a song I passed out. That’s how bad it is.

I could continue giving you details of my current situation. The reactions I have gotten are responses full of pity, sympathy, sorrow, and pain filled eyes for me. I’m grateful for that, but I stopped bemoaning my situation a year ago. The Lord showed me, and helped me apply that verse to my life! It was a very vital lesson.

Yes, I would love nothing more than for all of this to go away. I so badly want to resume my normal life. I want to be my bubbly, energetic, vivacious self.  With the lack of energy it’s hard to be that way. Not to mention I’m in pain all the time; that doesn’t always help.

I’m content with my current state. I know this is where the Lord wants me. I have no doubt about that. He knew what was ahead and He prepared me for it the last time I was on the couch. That was only a practice run, so to speak.

Sure, having insomnia is not fun, but I am learning to make the most of it. I write better at night anyway, so why not use it to the fullest?
The Lord is teaching me to take the worst of situations and find the best in them and use it for His glory. Amazing things happen. That’s what I’m here for, to serve and glorify the Lord. He allowed this illness to happen, I’m not going to blame and curse Him. No! Never! Instead, I am choosing to love and serve Him. Give Him the glory for what is happening. The Lord has done wonders in my life before this, He can do it again. I believe He will.

Debuting My New Business: Of Stitches and Things

The turn of the season has brought about a necessary change of wardrobe. With Autumn finally here, and Winter peeping at us from around the corner, warm, yet stylish outfits and accessories have replaced the Summer fashions. 

Chilly weather is quickly turning into freezing temperatures and the need to stay warm is here. The season of bundling up has arrived.  

My new business, Of Stitches and Things is comprised of beautifully crocheted scarves made from loopy French Mohair.

 I will be adding other accessories such as hats, designed for children as well, and possibly other items. 

Pop over to my business page and check it out! I will be creating new items frequently so be sure to visit often! 

My Life Was an Idol

I can’t die.

The Lord needs me.

I’m not finished here.

I have Lyme disease; I can very well die from it. These are lies I have comforted myself with to keep my fear abated.

I don’t want to die! I rather like living. Life is beautiful no matter how much pain I’m in. But that’s where I've erred. I've derailed my spiritual train. It crashed and was burning.

I made an idol out of my life. My physical life. Not how I’m living it, or what I’m doing with it (and not doing)  I have held onto it with such a tight grasp that I wouldn't even let the Lord touch it. If I had it in my hands and I was in control of it then I felt secure. Nothing would happen to it without my permission.

I left my Lord. I stopped loving the Lord the way He commands (Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all they soul, and with all thy mind. Matt. 22:37)
I loved my life more than the Life Giver.

My life had become an idol.

Throughout the entirety of my sickness (since last June) I knew the Lord wanted me to give Him my life. I managed to keep Him quiet in that matter by not listening. I opened up my heart to Him, except that one area.

That wasn't enough for Him. God desires to be Lord of everything, not just portions of our lives.

As time would have it, I distanced myself from the Lord. I didn't want to give Him my life. Didn't I have the right to keep anything? (the answer to that is no) I was afraid of what would happen, and in case you’re wondering, I wasn't exactly all that happy.

Half of my family stayed home from church this past Sunday. (due to my current state of health, I’m unable to attend church) We listened to a sermon on loving God.
Five minutes in and I’m convicted. Half-way through I knew what I needed to do. By the end of it I had resolved to return to my First Love.
Dad asked what I had gotten out of the sermon, and as I began telling them the tears started flowing. 

Tears of shame and repentance.

With the change of the season, the Lord brought a season of change to my heart. My life is not mine at all. The Lord died so that I could have life. I can show my love and give my life back to Him. 

I trust the Lord completely. Whatever happens, I am in His hands.

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all they soul, and with all thy mind. Matthew 22:37

Is there an idol in your life? Have you left your First Love?